The Mall
by NightSlash
Summary: The gang goes to the mall...yes, the mall. Wackiness ensues.


I do not own Underworld or any of the characters involved, nor do I own any of the characters from Mallrats and whatever else is in here, references or otherwise. I own Gabriel and Damon. This is set a few days after the Three Sided War story I wrote.

Plot: Lucian, Sonja, Selene, Michael, Gabriel, and Damon decided to take a little break from all the battles…and go to the mall. Wackiness ensues.

Ok, here it is.

***

**_The Mall_**

****

***

Lucian opened his eyes when he felt across it with his hand and realized Sonja wasn't there. He sat up and got out of the bed, pulling a pair of pants on. 

They were in a small apartment, and had moved in there after the attack on the mansion earlier, since they no longer had to worry about being on the run from the death dealers. 

Looking over he saw her standing in front of the window, basking in the sunlight. Now that she had become a hybrid, after suffering a near fatal encounter with a dagger that was laced with a poison that killed vampires rather quickly, she no longer had to worry about the sun. Smiling he walked over and wrapped his arms around her, causing her to sigh and nestle her head against his chest.

"It's beautiful," she murmured after a moment. Lucian nodded, even though he briefly remembered the last time the two had been in the same room with the sunlight…the day when she was killed. 

"Yes, it is," he replied before turning her around and kissing her lips. She wrapped her arms around him and deepened the kiss.

"So," she began as she finally broke off from him. "What should we do today?"

Lucian thought for a moment, and then smiled. "I should take you around the city, so you can see how things have changed in the past six hundred years."

Sonja nodded. "Where do we go first?"

Lucian paused, and then, he said, "Let's try the shopping mall."

***

After getting dressed…well after spending an hour or so still in the bed and _then _getting dressed, Lucian and Sonja had arrived at the local shopping mall. Already the place was rather packed at this early hour. Lucian was dressed in his normal attire, with the exception of his leather coat, which he had let Sonja wear since she had said she was a little cold on the way over to the mall; Sonja was wearing a black dress that went down to her knees. 

"So, what do you want to do first?" Sonja asked Lucian as she rested her head against his shoulder.

"Well, well, well." 

The two looked over as Gabriel and Damon walked up to them. "What brings you two here?" Gabriel asked. 

"I'm showing her around the city," Lucian answered. Then he tilted his head to the side. "Where's Eliza?" he asked Gabriel.

"She couldn't come, since it's the day time right now and she's a vampire," Gabriel responded with a tone that told Lucian that it was pretty obvious.

Damon looked over at another part of the mall, and grinned. "Well this is becoming a popular trend for us," the half demon said as he pointed over. The group looked over and saw that Michael and Selene were over where Damon was pointing. They then walked over to the two.

***

A little while later, after saying hello to each other, they went their separate ways. 

Lucian and Sonja walked down the mall, finally stopping at a display of colorful posters. There was a man in his early twenties, staring at one of them. He wasn't moving, and it didn't seem like he was even blinking. Sonja looked at him, and then at Lucian, who shrugged, before walking over to him and tapping him lightly on the shoulder.

Instantly the man spun around and almost smacked Sonja in the face, but stopped when he saw it was a girl. 

"What are you doing?" Sonja asked him. The man just looked back at the poster. "Looking for the hidden picture," he answered.

Sonja raised an eyebrow and looked over at Lucian, who nodded. "If you stare at these long enough you're supposed to see a hidden picture," Lucian explained. She nodded, and then looked at the picture. After a moment of staring, she smiled. "Look, it's a sailboat."

The second she had finished that second, the man practically exploded, as he yelled out, "DAMN IT!!!"

Sonja backed off, surprised at his sudden outburst. Lucian just looked at him, not very pleased that he had just yelled at Sonja. "What?"

The man looked at him briefly before looking back at the poster. "I've been staring at this thing since I got here and I can't see a god damn thing!! Everyone's seen it but me. But today's my day," he said as he raised the bag he was holding. "I brought a lunch, and I'm not leaving here until I see this sailboat that everyone keeps talking about."

Lucian was about to reply, when two newcomers strolled up; both were in their early twenties. The first, Jay, was taller and skinnier than his partner and had long blonde hair, while the other one, Silent Bob, was smaller, fatter, and had short black hair and a beard. 

"Snooch to the motherfuckin' nooch," Jay said as they walked up next to the trio. Jay looked at the man who was staring at the Magic Eye poster, and snorted. 

"Look Silent Bob, this motherfucker is still standing here looking at this poster trying to find the stupid-ass sailboat," Jay said to Silent Bob, who nodded in response. Jay leaned up to the man. "I'll tell you what you need is a fatty boom batty blunt, and then I guarantee you'll see a sailboat, an ocean and maybe even some of them big-tittied mermaids doing some of that lesbian shit."

There wasn't any response from the man, as he continued to stare at the Magic Eye poster. Jay scoffed. "Fuck this, come on tubby," he said as he walked away, Silent Bob following. 

Sonja and Lucian glanced at each other, shrugged, and left as well, leaving him to his concentration. Soon after they left, a small boy walked up and looked at the poster.

"Wow, a sailboat," he said happily after a moment. The man glared at him.

"Shut up."

***

"Damon, what are we doing?" Gabriel asked as the two walked up to a large stage that looked to be done construction, although it appeared to have a few minor adjustments still needed. 

"Really simple," Damon said with a grin as he pointed upwards. Gabriel followed his hand and his eyes spotted a pin attached to several poles. "This here, is where there's going to be some lame-ass game show that's basically a remake of one of those dating shows from the sixties or whatever. Now, I'm in the mood to cause some confusion and chaos, and I figure that if we take out that pin, the whole fucking stage will come crashing down."

Gabriel looked at him incredulously. "THAT'S your big plan," he asked before shaking his head. 

"Do you have a better idea?" Damon asked. Gabriel sighed. "Thought so," Damon said, taking the sigh as 'no'. Then, he moved towards the escalator that was close by before getting on it and riding to the second floor and closer to the pin. Gabriel rolled his eyes before following him. 

Once on the second floor, the two moved toward the section where the pole with the pin was. Damon pulled out what a pen from his coat, and handed it to Gabriel.

"What's this for," the half demon asked as he looked at it curiously. Damon stopped for a second, and looked at him before responding.

"Oh, that…well, that's for…" he trailed off, and suddenly grabbed Gabriel and hurled him down the escalator, and into several people, sending them down the escalator in a pile of limbs. As the people nearest to them were distracted, Damon leapt on the balcony and leapt in the air, his supernatural physical abilities carrying towards the pin in less than a second. He latched onto it and pulled, yanking it out…

…as well as the entire pole it was attached too. He hadn't even hit the ground before the entire stage lay in ruins. Coughing he stood up, while brushing some dust off his clothes. 

Gabriel ran up to him "WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT FOR!?" he yelled. 

"It's called a distraction. And it's worked, and it doesn't look like anyone noticed us. 

"GET THEM!!"

The two turned their head towards the rapidly approaching security guards. Gabriel eyed Damon. "You were saying?"

Damon shrugged before the two turned and ran in the other direction, with six security guards in hot pursuit.

Finally Gabriel and Damon ducked inside a clothing store, the security guards passing the store and continuing onward.

"Well that was close," Damon said as they turned around and walked into the store. 

"Yeah, no thanks to you, dumbass," Gabriel muttered under his breath. Damon chuckled before looking in the back and grinning. Selene and Michael were in the back of the store. Damon walked back there, Gabriel following when he noticed Selene and Michael also. 

"What are you two doing in here?" Gabriel asked as they reached the two.

"Selene said she wanted a new coat since her old one got messed up pretty bad in the fight at the mansion, so we're here." Michael answered. Gabriel nodded. 

"Hey Selene," Damon said, catching the vampire's attention as he walked up to them holding a rather small red velvet dress. "How much would I have to pay to watch you dance around in this?" he asked with a big grin. 

Selene looked at him disbelievingly before walking over and brutally smashing him in the face, causing him to stumble backwards as he raised a hand to his now bleeding nose. "Damn," Damon said before glancing at Michael. "Hey, is she that rough with you in bed?" 

Michael shrugged. "Well, now that you mention it…"

Selene looked at him with the same look she gave Damon a minute ago, and then Michael and Damon burst out laughing.

***

Lucian pressed the elevator button once he and Sonja were inside it. It slowly began its ascent upwards…

…and then it suddenly stopped. 

The two looked confused for a moment, and Lucian moved foreword and pressed one of the buttons. Nothing happened. 

"What's going on?" Sonja asked after a moment.

"Well, unless you want to go up through there," Lucian said, pointing to the trap door on the ceiling of the elevator. "It looks like we're stuck in here for a while." As he finished he reached up and prepared to open the door.

"Lucian, wait."

Lucian stopped and looked at Sonja as she reached up and shrugged of the leather jacket she was wearing before tossing it to the ground. Lucian's eyes widened. 

"Sonja, what are…?"

Before he could finish asking his question, Sonja leapt foreword, practically tackling him to the floor, as she crushed her mouth against his. After a minute or so of that she broke away, breathing heavily. "You said we might be in here a while, might as well find a way to pass the time," she whispered. 

Lucian grinned before pulling her toward him and kissing her before moving away from her lips and kissing along her jaw, and then down to her neck, lowering one of her dress straps. His fangs elongated and he grazed Sonja's soft skin with them, eliciting a moan from her.

***

Damon, Gabriel, Selene, and Michael had left in the clothes store and were now in a book store, looking through several titles. 

They moved to the magazine isle, where Jay and Silent Bob were, looking through magazines. Jay was looking at an issue of Hustler. 

"Dude, this looks like your mom, tubby," Jay said as he showed the picture to Silent Bob, who surprisingly nodded in response. 

Suddenly, a security guard ran into the book store, as he had spotted Damon. "THERE THEY ARE," he yelled, pointing to the two. "AND THOSE OTHER TWO WHO WERE MESSING WITH THE STAGE EARLIER!!" Instantly several more guards ran in the store. The four looked at each other, and then at the guards, and then took off running towards the exit, the guards in pursuit. 

"Well, this day is getting more interesting by the minute," Selene said to Michael as they walked out of the store. As they left they passed a trio of young males, one of whom decided that it would be funny if he gave Selene a pat on her butt.

A second afterwards, he fell to the ground with one hand clutching his broken nose, and another clutching his groin.

***

"We should just leave, we can't keep running from those damn guards," Gabriel said to Damon as they neared an elevator. Damon rolled his eyes.

"Fine, we'll go. Damn, you need to lighten." Damon replied as he pressed the elevator button. After a few moments it opened, and the two half demon's eyes widened in surprise.

Lucian and Sonja were in the elevator, with most of their clothes half on and half off. Sonja was pressed up against one of the walls, with her legs wrapped around Lucian's waist, her head buried in his hair as he gently nibbled on her neck.

Damon whistled. Instantly the two stopped and looked at the two with shocked expressions. Gabriel just shook his head and Damon clapped.

"You know I've always wondered if people ever had sex in elevators. I guess this proves it," he said with a laugh as the two in the elevator quickly got their clothes straightened out before getting out of the elevator.

"You saw nothing," Lucian hissed to Damon as he and Sonja took off in the opposite direction. Damon laughed again.

"Yeah, whatever."

As the two got in the elevator, Gabriel wondered if he was the only sane person in the whole 'group'.

***

"Well, that was…different."

Michael and Selene were back at their own apartment; the main difference between theirs and Lucian/Sonja's was that the glass that made up the windows somehow kept the sunlight from actually coming into the room, the light could be seen though. Gabriel had given it to them, and said he had gotten it from some law firm in L.A.

"What did you think?" Michael asked Selene, who was in the bathroom. She didn't answer.

"Selene?" Michael asked again as he moved into the bathroom. His eyes widened when he entered.

Selene was looking at him rather shyly, and she was wearing the red dress that Damon had shown her earlier.

"Wow," Michael said after a moment, and Selene shrugged. 

"I thought I would buy it to see how it looked…I feel kind of stupid in it."

Michael shook his head. "You look great." Selene still looked a little shy in it, but she smiled at that. Michael walked over and cupped her chin in his hand before gently kissing her.

Selene wrapped one arm around the back of his neck, and the other one she used to shut the bathroom door.

***

Lucian and Sonja had gotten thrown out of the mall for the day after someone told the security about how they had been having sex in the elevator. They thought it had been funny though.

On the way out of the mall, they passed the sailboat guy, who was still staring at the poster. When Sonja said it was a sailboat, he snapped, and ran up and kicked the poster off its stand before storming out of the mall.

Actually, Lucian and Sonja did the exact same thing in _another _elevator less than twenty minutes later after they got caught the first time. That time they got caught, and then thrown out of the mall. Damon, who was still there, had the pleasure of laughing his ass of at them before getting chased again by the security guards, despite the fact that the game show still went on, and ended on a rather interesting term which involved a store owner getting arrested for having sex with a fifteen year old girl, who had lied and told him she was thirty six.

I'm not going to say the end, because I might add another part.


End file.
